I need to be upfront with you. This is purely a begging letter for tickets to Dismaland. I know it won't work, but if there's the tiniest chance that you'll see how dismal my life has been over the last few months, I thought you might take pity, and shower me with free tickets to the exhibition.
My run of dismality started three months ago, when my youngest son ran into an iron bar. His brain leeched a bit through his skull and that meant that, rather selfishly, it's taken him a long time to recover. I had to give up work temporarily which was a bit of a bother, as I'm a single parent.
A few weeks ago, I decided to take both my boys to Wales, camping. A bit of a treat. On the first night, my eldest son was hit in the face by flying stones, so we spent a jolly night in Haverfordwest A&E, waiting for him to be glued back together.
There was a lot of blood, and therefore a lot of washing.
My step mother died a year ago, my Dad has a brain tumour, and my partner had his hip replaced at the weekend.
We have tried to get tickets to Dismaland but have so far failed. I've got a feeling it would cheer us all up immensely.
And so, I wondered... is there anything you could do to sort of... shoe horn us in?