Wednesday, 5 August 2015

Facebook v Twitter

I was always a Facebook girl. Ooo, look at my wonderful children covered in spaghetti juice! Look at my vegetable that looks like a willy! Look at my new profile pic staring off to the side! Look! Look! Look!

The beauty of it is that people do generally look. And Like. And even comment. Because they all know you, and therefore put up with you. They're your real-life-friend, or have been in the past. Or they're your colleague, past or present. Or perhaps an old school chum. Whatever their relationship to you, you've invited them in because you're comfortable with them.

Being on Facebook is like sitting in your front room with all your bezzies and a few weirdos you've picked up along the way. In the corner, cousin Kevin is showing a few people his holiday slides. Over there, your boss is showing off a cake smothered in chocolate fingers that she's made for her son's 5th birthday. And lying on the sofa, half naked, is your best friend showing her newly flat stomach. It's friendly, warm... and safe.

Twitter, on the other hand, is an enormous room of darkness. As an anonymous blogger, I started on Twitter with no known contacts - so my room was empty and sodding scary. I was the new girl in the playground, and attempted to join in on the odd conversation - but the trouble was, as I had ZERO followers, it was assumed that I had nothing to say. (And actually, they were right. I was shit at it.)

I started by blasting on about my blog in a very Facebook way. LOOK AT ME! LOOK AT MY BLOG! ISN'T IT GREAT! Sounding very much like Rik from The Young Ones. Funnily enough, no one took any notice, because I was sodding irritating. It took me a while to realise that on Twitter, you either need to make friends by being yourself, in an honest, quirky way; OR you model yourself as an expert in your chosen field and tweet about that all day long. Well, there was no bleedin way I was tweeting about Divorce till kingdom come (I'd run out of things to say at midday, Day 1), so I had to learn to tweet about stuff in my life.

Gradually, the dark cavern started to populate. People brought in comfy chairs and stuck around for a while. I even (get this) properly MET some virtual Twitter people at Blogfest who turned out to be utterly lovely. And then, to cap it all, I WENT OUT with a virtual someone, too. So Twitter became my favourite thing in the world. I still didn't tweet enough to feel like I was a bona fide club member, but at least I felt like I'd done enough to know the rules.

But Twitter's a cold place when things go wrong. The relationship I was having broke down - we always knew it would eventually - and because of my own lack of self belief, it really, really hurt when I saw him flirting with others. Because that had been 'our' thing. It felt like every single Twitter user was standing in the room, and he was telling everyone how astonishingly attractive this lady was... and they were all looking at me, saying, 'so how do you feel about that?'.

This I suspect says more about me than it does about Twitter. And the ridiculous thing is that I had gone back to boyf by that point. So I felt loved; it's just that I also felt stupid, and small. Unpick that one if you will.

In an illogical womanly rage I removed the Twitter app from my phone and cursed it from high for all of 48 hours. I ran back over to Facebook, my faithful friend, and posted pictures of Italian waiters and vending machines that said 'Titti' on them. And sunsets. And the comments came flooding in and everything was suddenly ok.

I feel like I've gone a bit social media loopy. The good thing is that I'm off camping with Teen and Tween next week. There is no WiFi in that Welsh wood. So it's an enforced break from the virtual nonsense that messes with my head - although I suspect that I will be seeking out cafes to get my intense internet hit.

Coffee, anyone?

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26 comments:

  1. So well written. I just loved this and related to bits such as being quirky and honest on Twitter. TFFT then cos that's me! Loved the facebook analogies. #brilliantblogposts

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    1. Thanks so much! Really glad you liked it. x

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  2. Haha. I'm slightly traumatised by social media currently. I was always fb too. I'm not suited to 140 characters! I never had a Twitter account before blogging. I still don't get Twitter really, & I'm not sure how much it actually helps but, having recently set up a fb page, I now find Twitter much easier for blog purposes. I want my page separate from my personal account as much as possible & fb makes that as hard as possible. It's chaos & I fear my personal account has been overtaken by the blog & I am annoying everyone! Perhaps I should also go camping! #brilliantblogposts

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    1. Plenty of space in the car if you'd like to come! Yes, I'm in constant terror of leaking my (anonymous) blogger info onto my personal FB page. I did set up a FB page for the blog, but just don't have time to populate it. Nightmare!

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  3. Oh social media can send you all loopy can't it? I'm still undecided but I think twitter is more my friend - like humus I can dip in and out of it when I like without having to commit to the whole bowl! Enjoy your camping and I'm not sure I could go a whole week without WiFi - terrible to think of this as a middle class problem, but I think it may be classed as such!!
    #BrilliantBlogPost

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    1. I know - I'm already chewing my nails down to the quick in anticipation of being WiFi-less for a week. Kids too, I suspect. Wish us luck! x

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  4. I've just started on Twitter after having been on FB for years and I find it a bit different and a bit hard going! It seems all it is is like you say, links and lack of actual conversation! I'm hoping it improves with time. And sorry to hear about your relationship, that sucks! Stick with Facey and enjoy your camping! #brilliantblogposts

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    1. Thanks so much. Let me know your Twitter handle and I'll follow you! I'm @secretdivorcee. x

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  5. I can totally relate. As a newish blogger and a newish devotee of Twitter and frankly Facebook, there is a big difference in how you function on each. Really good post and enjoy your time away from social media. #brilliantblogposts

    www.carewsinsuburbia.com

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    1. Thanks Rob. Really appreciate your comment. x

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  6. I love Facebook and Twitter equally, but for different reasons. Very similar to your reasons - Facebook is fab for keeping up with friends, Twitter is fab for making new ones! #brillblogposts
    Debbie
    www.myrandommusings.blogspot.com

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    1. Yes, I think you're right Debbie. For me though, Twitter can be a bit too intense every now and then! Thanks for commenting -really appreciate it.

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  7. This is so true for me too - Facebook was like the small, comfort blanket of primary school where you know everyone and Twitter is big, scary secondary school where everyone's a stranger and you're separated from your besties! Mim x

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    1. Thanks Mim. Yes, Twitter definitely has that huge secondary school feel to it! x

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  8. I hated Twitter at first as well. Just was a minefield. But you are right you need to make a few friends and over time to followers build. I still prefer Facebook for the piccys but I hate the way the page thing doesn't show all your followers your posts! I hope you enjoy your trip and get your wifi break xx #brilliantblogposts

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    1. Went on a course recently about using FB for business. The logic that FB uses for showing stuff to certain people is so complex, and always shifting! V difficult to keep up so have decided to just go with the flow, and trust that they'll do the right thing in the end! Thanks for your comment, and your good wishes - really appreciate it.

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  9. I too was a Facebook lover but I am warming to Twitter, but I still have no idea! Enjoy being wifi free. Mel xx #brilliantblogposts

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    1. Hi Mel - thanks so much. Will be interesting to see how zero internet effects us thoughout the week! x

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  10. I love facebook for keeping friends and distant relatives up to date with stuff (and vice versa) but Twitter is the place where I can be most honest about how im feeling etc. I enjoy the anonymity of it,

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  11. There is so much irony to me being dubbed a 'Twitter Person' :-) I'm sure you know how random and sporadic and mainly filled with blog promos my Tweeting is (and I'm sorry!). I do feel like I know much more where I am with Facebook and I like the fact that there is a blocking facility and you have more control over who does or doesn't see what but I just wish Facebook would stop messing with everyone's feeds! That really is annoying! Sorry about the relationship stuff - you guys seemed like a great match. The boyf eh? ...

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  12. Facebook is a minefield for blogging if you actually want to keep a little bit anonymous and actually want to participate as your blog in pages beyond your own homepage. I much prefer Twitter, but I have heard that Twitter tends to be used more by other bloggers, while if you want non-bloggers to engage with your blog then Facebook is the way to go. I'm not sure whether that's really the case, but it rings true to me. The two are very different though, and then there's Pinterest, which is another experience all over again. #brilliantblogposts

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  13. This is brilliant, I love it! It's so easy to get sucked in with it all isn't it?? I still feel very new and still have no idea what I'm doing!

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  14. I so agree with you! Social Media at times baffles me, but I love it too!!!

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  15. Loved this and I'm sorry for your you felt and were made to feel, social media is a funny animal really isn't it, I tell you where I feel truly happy-pinterest, it's my own little world without a lot of commentary. I enjoy twitter and fb but pinterest, for me feels special somehow x

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