Thursday, 30 April 2015

Pinch Points

Even if we are lucky enough to be relatively mentally stable, there will always be pinch points in our lives when life is difficult. Tricky situations, which on their own would be relatively easy to deal with, seem to gang up and launch themselves on your all at once. Coping with them is exhausting, and can flatten you.

I am at a pinch point. Life is busy anyway, as a single parent. Add to that I have just split up with the man I love. And that my teenage son is being so rude and unhelpful that he is driving me to tears. And that a woman at work is gunning for me. And that this headache just won't...go... away.

Things are a bit shit. But the glory of getting old is experience; I know that this melancholy won't last forever. I've been here before, and the knots eventually untangle, revealing a simpler, happier time.  I'm lucky enough to recognise that, although the day-to-day me is on the floor at the moment, there are some good things going on too: my photography work is stepping up; tween is much more settled at school, and I have a wonderful circle of friends who are brilliant at getting in touch, even when I've gone AWOL.

I am lucky that I don't suffer from depression. My granny was on lithium for most of her life to treat her manic depression, and my cousin has been sectioned twice. I saw what they went through but felt helpless; if you don't suffer from depression, it is very difficult to put yourself in the shoes of someone who does. But I believe it must be like an extreme version of a pinch-point, without the benefit of perspective. It must be absolutely exhausting.

This is a short post. A half formed idea.

Apologies.

I must just shut my eyes for a bit.


5 comments:

  1. So sorry to hear about your break up :(.

    I know exactly what you mean by Pinch Points. I've thought all my life that I'm strong enough to balance things out. And they usually did. But three years ago I broke down. Things weren't only pinching anymore... they ran me over. It is exhausting. There were times when I just wanted to end it all. I was fed up fighting and struggling. Three years of hell and back. I've finally found my balance again... but I had to learn the hard way that sometimes... all you can do is to take step by step and day by day. Horrible when you're used to have a "future" plan (at least for the next few month) and daily structure! But during a depression...it's the only thing you're capable of doing.

    Anyways, I just wanted to say, don't let it get you down!
    And thanks again for sharing!

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    Replies
    1. Gosh, thanks so much for your comment, and I'm glad you're well again and back on the straight and narrow. Long may it continue! xxx

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  2. Awww...so sorry to hear that Lottie. Give yourself some time.

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  3. Thank you for sharing, so sorry to hear about your break-up. :(
    I too know what you mean about pinch points, my break down came 18 months ago after struggling for at four years + with impossible (i realise now) cumulating pinch points. Still recovering but getting there. At least you can recognise your pinch points and are managing them instead of letting them manage you.
    Anyway, just wanted to say sorry to hear your news, take the time for you and good to know your photography going well.

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  4. Oh Lottie, I am so sorry about this! Life is a pile of crap sometimes xxxx

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