Friday, 20 September 2013

Out of the ashes...

Phew.  That was a bit like falling into a vortex in The Adventure Game with a sandwich (do you remember that?) and coming out the other side with your hair and knickers all akimbo.  Are you still with me?

Thank you.

I guess I've lost a lot of readers, but part of the fun of blogging is building up your reading base.  I think.  At least, that's what I'm telling myself to make sure I don't become too glum.

Anyhoo, it all started when Hot Examiner asked me to edit a children's story he'd written.  I said yes, of course, because he's hot.  But oh my.  When it came to me, I was stunned by its...shitness.

I am being unfair of course.  It was a not very well written story about a pixie.  Do I need to go on?  And this put me off him slightly.

So I spent quite a long time editing the thing and did 'Send as an email attachment' thang.  Little did I know that the email account I was sending it from was the one from my blog, so when it arrived in his Inbox, it had Ava Piaf all over it.  I realised my mistake immediately, and sent him another email from my usual account asking him to ignore the last one.

He didn't ignore it.  He did what anyone would do - especially me - and googled away.  In twenty seconds he had found my Twitter feed and, most crucially, my blog, which talked all about him, how hot he was, how I felt about sex, how I'd had affairs - bla, bla bla.

I suppose it's enough to put anybody off.

To his credit, a few days later, he told me what he'd done.  In an email.  It simply said, "I have to tell you that I have read your blog."  After I'd read it, everything went a bit swimmy for a while and I felt like I had a small mouse, or possibly a vole, in my throat.  In an instant I felt like I had lost him, and lost my blog.  He and my blog were running off into the sunset together.  Without me.

A weird set of emails followed back and forth; he quoted Hamlet and some old folk singer, intimating that I was living a lie.  I was apologetic at first, then got really cross and told him to stop quoting literature because I DIDN'T KNOW WHAT THE FUCK HE WAS ON ABOUT.

I got a very formal response after that.  In a nutshell: have a nice life.

So.  The good things to come of this incident of the blog in the night time are...

1. I've realised that I really do love the boyf.  Lots of men do not have a sense of humour.  Boyf does.  This is worth a barrel of gold.
2. Although the old blog is dead, which I am sad about, I made a shedload of mistakes in it.  Here is a chance to start afresh!
3. I think that's it.

Welcome back, everybody!

6 comments:

  1. Good girl, back on the horse and all that! I'm just trying to get my head round your complicated love life - Boyf + internet dating? X

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    1. I know, I really need to settle down! Haven't internet dated for a while now and the Hot Examiner thing was just a road to nowhere. Time to grow up and invest in what I've got, I think!

      And thanks so much for sticking with me. Really appreciate it. xxxx

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  2. By the way I used to adore The Adventure Game - there was something insanely captivating about that vortex!

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    1. There certainly was. But apart from the vortex and sandwiches and strange plastic monsters - what was it all about?!

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    2. Good question... I don't remember the sandwiches...

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    3. Seem to remember sandwiches - cheese rolls? - being chucked at spaces to see if the vortex was there or not. Brilliant show. They should do an updated version :-)

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